"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
