that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
where are my eyebrows?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
