Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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