this will be a night to untag.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize