Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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