Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
