you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
don't judge my taste in strippers
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
