i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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