Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
