I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
