K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize