Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
