Too much gin, very little bucket
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
