I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
