Sry I called you an 8
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
