I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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