Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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