You really coming over, don't trick.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
