My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
