Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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