I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
