Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
