Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize