don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
