Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
