piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
