I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
im six kinds of drunk right now
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You dont lie about slip and slides
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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