I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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