Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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