Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
