I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
