it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
