I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
