Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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