Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
