Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
