it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
