guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
