i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
