Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
