I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
