omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
