We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
