last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Every concussion has its silver lining
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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