another moral hangover. fuck.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
