just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
