Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
