wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
