She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
