You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize