Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
