His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize