yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
