No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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