I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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