He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
