Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
