I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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