Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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