I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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